Archive for the ‘The Idea Camp Las Vegas’ Category

!C//SEX Family Week Wrap Up

By Dan King

Life in a fallen world is tough. Not only do we have to live it out ourselves, but we also have to raise up the next generation to do the same… hopefully without too much heartache.

For several weeks now bloggers everywhere have shared their stories related to pornography, abuse, orientation, and other issues. And throughout the series, it’s not difficult to see that there is a LOT of brokenness out there.

This week was FAMILY WEEK, the sixth of the six-week series of discussions on various sex-related topics. And one thing that seemed to be on most people’s minds is, “how do we talk to our kids about this?” It certainly seems that while we find healing for ourselves, we definitely want to do everything we can to make sure that our kids grow up with healthier perspectives on sexuality than we did.

Here’s a quick recap of the posts that we saw come in this week:

  • On a Friday Afternoon
    Nicole Wick opens up a series of posts with a story about a visit to a Planned Parenthood office. This deeply touching story starts to dig into the pain associated with unwanted pregnancy.
  • Go Ahead, Creep Your Kids Out! (Kiss Your Spouse)
    Mary DeMuth talks about how setting the right examples with your spouse can teach your kids a great deal about what a healthy relationship looks like.
  • That Talk
    Sarah Markley takes her personal story about struggles with pornography to the next level by exploring how she is going to talk to her own daughters about her failures.
  • Idea Camp Thoughts: Tough Conversations
    Daniel So jumps into the conversation by challenging people to get into the tough conversations and break off the stigma that surround conversation about sexuality in the church.
  • #ICSEX – Dinner Conversation
    Seiji Yamashita shares his concern about how youth tend to brush over the difficult conversations by only wanting to talk about easy things. Then he proposes that the dinner table be used as a platform to connect with our children to explore these often difficult conversations.
  • how (and when) to talk to the kids about sex [#ICSEX]
    Dan King (that’s me) chats with Dr. Thomas Clyburn via Skype to get answers to questions about how and when to talk to your children about sex, and how to avoid the damaging effects of pre-sexualization.

Important posts from one of the #ICSEX Camp Guides, Cris Clapp Logan:

Other posts this week not focusing on orientation:

Let’s keep this conversation going… Which of these posts impacted you the most? Why? What other perspectives on sex slavery do you think are important to share/consider?

Coming up next: The Idea Camp Conference!
Are you enjoying this conversation? Then consider coming to !C//SEX Las Vegas on 9.27 and 9.28. Register now

Originally posted at bibledude.net.

#ICSEX – Dinner Conversation

By admin

by Seiji Yamashita

I heard a report today that children WANT to sit down at the dinner table and have dinner with the entire family present.  This ranges from 8 year olds up to 17 year olds.  I think this is wonderful.  For the longest time all we were hearing about was how the television has replaced dinner conversation and how the internet was corrupting children away from their parents, and it’s nice to hear some good news about the next generation for a change.  But I’ve always wondered what constitutes dinner conversation in a Christian household.  In case you weren’t sure I didn’t grow up in that setting and I decided to talk to some of the kids I work with and see what they had to say and what they said actually bothered me.

Basically they quoted Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever thingsare noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things”

Why this bothers me?

Because date rape is neither noble, just, pure or lovely but it needs to be discussed.  Teenage pregnancy is not of good report and has little virtue in it.  Sex trafficking is just plain ugly.

I want to come out and say in no uncertain terms that there is no such thing as “inappropriate dinner conversation.”  Period.

I’m not even going to suggest that perhaps the conversation with the family is different than the conversation in public or in company, because there is a simple truth in the pages of the bible that we ABSOLUTEY must remember.  “Train a child in the way (s)he should go and when (s)he is old (s)he will not depart from it.”  “do not exasperate your children but bring them up in the way of the LORD.”

You cannot expect that your children won’t smoke if you never tell them that smoking causes cancer.  Others might, but it is a parent’s job and responsibility to look out for that kind of thing.  Similarly, you cannot expect your children to be able to approach sex and sexual sin from a Godly perspective if they don’t know what that Godly perspective is.  And yes, the Dinner table is an excellent place for that conversation.  The hardest conversation in the bible takes place during and immediately after a dinner generally called The Last Supper.

If our Lord needed something to eat and drink before telling his disciples the worst of the news in the plainest of terms, don’t you think we’d benefit from following his example with regards to our children?

There’s lots of other things we can do to raise up our children in a way to spare them the torment of sex as a critically taboo subject, but let’s face it – being open, honest, and plain about it all is probably one of the best things we can do.

Originally posted at justapen.wordpress.com.

That Talk

By admin

by Sarah Markley

From the time she was a toddler and throwing spaghetti in her high chair I knew that someday we would have to have that talk.

I’m not talking about The Talk: the sex/menstruation/development talk. You know, the kind that begins with sweaty hands and ends with facial contortions and big sighs.

That almost seems breezy compared to the one that plagues my darkening mind as I drift off to sleep. The one that I know will come someday, inevitable, as hot and unwelcome as the Santa Ana winds every fall.

It’s The Talk when I have to tell her that I was unfaithful to her fatherbefore she was born. And that I was distracted by my own selfishness. That I self-medicated with diet and exercise  when she was a baby. I’ll have to tell her that I loved her father but that I loved myself more. I’ll have to have That Talk with her.

And it makes me cringe inside.

I’ve had some friends who have already had those talks with their daughters and sons, and I know that amidst tears and questions, God brings healing and restoration. I know that having to have That Talk gives my daughter a powerful stage for a heart explosion toward God.

I hope that it will teach her about the

never-exhausted

always-open

wide-expanded

grace of God.

I’m hoping that my pain and mistakes will have one more chance to right themselves in this world. That there will be one more place that I will be witness to God bringing beauty from ashes.

{Little-girl witnessed kitchen kisses between a husband and wife might be proof their world will never split apart from divorce. Hands-held over dinner and whispered prayers in each other’s ears will show our daughters that we love Jesus more than anything else.}

I dread That Talk. I dread the hurt it will bring; that knowledge will cause pain in the tender heart of my daughter. I dread it.

But what I’m trusting is this: that God will teach all of us together that there is always another chance at the grace of God. That there is always a place for me at the table. That the family will never be too full and that open arms won’t tire of waiting open, shoulders strained at the endurance.

Because that is exactly what He did for me. For us.

Maybe, hopefully, That Talk will teach her that very thing.

Have you had a difficult Talk with one of your children?

Originally posted at sarahmarkley.com.

On a Friday Afternoon

By admin

by Nicole Wick

The room smelled musty.

The smell was like a basement. Or my grandmother’s attic. After she died we drug an old steamer trunk out of her attic that no one had opened in decades. When my father unhinged the heavy brass latch and lifted the lid the smell of dry rot, dust, and old newspaper filled the room. That trunk was full of treasures. Letters that my uncle had written from Pearl Harbor. Pictures of my aunts and uncles wearing party hats made from folded paper. An old ledger book handwritten in my grandmother’s looping Palmer print that recorded everything from the first payment made on their farm house on Camden to the last entry that read “paid in full”: evidence of my Grandpa Joe’s hard work.

This wasn’t my grandmother’s attic and there weren’t treasures behind this room’s smells. There was just a few stacks of ancient waiting room magazines, brochures with smiling faces of young girls standing with their arms linked against a summer sunset, and long rows of large manila file folders that lined the wall behind the desk. Everything looked and smelled old.

I sat in the tiny room for a few long minutes staring at the swirling pattern in the cheap paneling and rereading the hand washing sign over and over. There wasn’t anything there that could distract me from the night before or from the the frantic search of the Yellow Pages that morning. All I could think about was the pain in my stomach and my strong desire to lie in my bed.

I sat there even after I was done filling my dixie cup, fearful of what could happen next. There was a small window cut into the wall next to me that had a small ledge and a flimsy piece of plywood on a track that covered an opening. Someone with a soft, sweet voice tapped on the door and asked if I was ok.

“Yep, I’m just about done.”

“When you’re finished put your cup on one of the plastic trays and pass it through the opening for me.”

“Ok, I’m finishing now,” I replied.

I sat in the small, wood-paneled room and slid open the door that covered the hole in the wall. The window opening was almost eye level from my spot on the edge of the toilet seat, and as I slid it open it gave me the strangest feeling of deja vu. It reminded me of sitting in the confessional booth years before. I hated going to confession. I hated sitting in the dark closet waiting for the priest to slide the window open and pry into my soul. I would always make up a sin to confess because I was too ashamed to tell Father what I had really done or thought. As soon as the confessional window slid open my stomach would sink and I would twist my glassy pink rosary beads in my sweaty palms, praying that we would get to my penance quickly so we could be done.

I placed my urine filled plastic cup on one of the little trays and slid the window open so I could pass it though. As I pressed my hand against the wooden door my stomach sank and I felt like I was in the confessional again. “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.”

When I was done, I waited in the outer office until they called me back. The doctor or nurse practitioner (I’m not sure which) had a large smile and rubbed my back as she told me that the test was negative, I wasn’t pregnant.

I walked out of the office that Friday afternoon with my morning after pill in one hand and one of the Planned Parenthood brochures with the happy young girls in the other. And in that moment I felt pure relief, believing that I could put my one night stand behind me and that I was ok.

To be continued…

Originally posted at nicolewick.com.

!C//SEX Slavery Week Wrap Up

By Dan King

Most people don’t like to think about this sort of thing. And those that are confronted with it are usually outraged, but often don’t know what they can do to help. The truth is that human trafficking and sex slavery is probably happening within a couple of miles of where you live, right now.

This week was SLAVERY WEEK, the fifth of the six-week series of discussions on various sex-related topics. The contributing bloggers this week shared stories, perspectives, and prompted discussions that none of us should leave here. Something must be done…

Here’s a quick recap of the posts that we saw come in this week:

  • They Have Been Bought with a Price
    Karyn Puller shares some information on how big the problem with sex trafficking really is, and brings it close to home by asking, “what if it was my own child?”.
  • The Story of Human Trafficking…..Living In Slavery
    Karyn Puller tells a story from the perspective of a victim about a life stuck inside sex slavery. It’s interesting to consider what victims must be thinking and feeling.
  • #ICSEX: Slavery week – 146
    Seiji Yamashita shares the powerful story about how the ministry of Love 146 got started. It’s a story that should move you to compassion for the victims, and probably outrage you at the same time. Definitely a must-see video…
  • In My Backyard
    Nicole Wick googles ‘sex trafficking’ and ‘Detroit’. What she finds is pretty disturbing. She explores what living with sex trafficking in her own backyard feels like, and asks why we are so unaware of how close to home this issue is.
  • here comes the [mail-order] bride trafficking
    Dan King (that’s me) looks at human trafficking from a different perspective. Often we think of those who are forced into prostitution, but there are thousands of women from poor nations who are ‘bought’ to be wives in the richer Western nations through the legal mail-order bride business. Is that human trafficking?
  • Start an Underground Railroad…or Something.
    Jesse Giglio goes grassroots on us… He challenges people to think about what we all can do to making an impact in the fight against human trafficking by drawing parallels to the Underground Railroad. We must all consider our role in fighting slavery.
  • In Honor of those suffering from human trafficking…
    JoDee Luna shares and discusses a thesis done by her daughter that dives into how the ‘comfort system’ and the military presence in the East helped to develop a sex industry that has grown into something massive. There’s some interesting history in this one!
  • The Church and Slavery
    Suzie Lind digs into the demand-side of the sex slavery and human trafficking issue. In order to save the victims, we must also deal with those that are making this industry such a profitable one. Interesting conversation here about dealing with the roots.
  • Child Sex Trafficking is now a U.S. problem
    Sean Wrench discusses the work that he does with homeless youth, and how he (and all of us can) fight child sex slavery here in the United States. His call is to Christians who, because of the Love of Christ, must be moved by this issue.

Other posts this week not focusing on slavery:

  • Why I Almost Gave Up on Sex
    Charles Lee talks about the things that he’s struggled with regarding the upcoming Idea Camp conference in Las Vegas, and discovers why this conversation is so vitally important in the church today. I’d like to ask that everyone who reads this, please join us in praying for this important event.

Let’s keep this conversation going… Which of these posts impacted you the most? Why? What other perspectives on sex slavery do you think are important to share/consider?

Coming up next: Family – Week beginning Sunday, September 19th
This is where it all starts. All of the discussions up until now end up pointing back to the family in some way. What should a loving relationship in a marriage look like? Where does sex fit in? What’s healthy? What about the kids? When/how do they learn about sex? This conversation will not only focus on what a healthy marriage looks like, but what healthy discussion about sex in a family sounds like. If you’re interested in participating in this conversation, then let us know in the comments or contact @bibledude on Twitter.

Are you enjoying this conversation? Then consider coming to !C//SEX Las Vegas on 9.27.10. Register now!

Originally posted at bibledude.net.

Start an Underground Railroad…or Something.

By admin

by Jesse Giglio

There’s this scene in the film Amazing Grace where hero/abolitionist William Wilberforce finds himself wavering at a crossroads. Should he continue down the road of politics or enter onto the path of his new found religious calling?

His best friend, and soon-to-be-youngest Prime Minister ever, William “Billy” Pitt, outraged at such a consideration sternly asks, “Do you plan to use your voice to worship God, or to change the world?” Mutually exclusive practices…

So Pitt calls together a group of abolitionists to convince William to stay in politics and use his persuasive place in the House to do the impossible by ending the slave trade. Their call to action is gentler than Pitt’s, “We understand that you are having trouble choosing between doing the work of God and the work of the Activist. We humbly suggest you do both.”

The story of William Wilberforce ended in triumph but unfortunately today we find the need for abolitionists as relevant as ever.  Here’s a snap shot fromFreeTheSlaves.net

Admittedly this issue feels overwhelming and impossible.  And so we find ourselves paralyzed by enormity and excusing ourselves from action while sadly the injustice continues and beautiful human beings continue to live without a life of their own.

I believe everyone can help, some can help more.  Find a way.  Use the Google.  The underground railroad wasn’t started by special ops units but by people driven to care.  To change.  Compassionaries.

Work of God or work of an activist?  Both.  The upside in working with God is that he knows a little something about the impossible…

Where’s your community on this subject?  In the fight?  Unaware?  Intimidated?

For more join us at TheIdeaCamp in Vegas at ICSEX as we take on slavery, sex and other scary subjects… Also, you can check out the online community here.

Originally posted at jessegiglio.com.

In My Backyard

By admin

by Nicole Wick

I wasn’t sure if I was going to post anything for the Idea Camp//Sex blog series on Sex Trafficking. Then I Googled “Sex trafficking” and “Detroit” just to see what came up. I was horrified.

I had no idea that teens in Michigan are more likely to be sold into sex slavery than die in a car crash. Here’s what a Change.org article had to say about it:

The high number of fatalities for teen drivers across America is incredibly concerning. But in Michigan, teens are actually significantly more likely to be trafficked into the commercial sex industry than killed in a car crash. That’s because child sex trafficking is growing at an alarming rate across the state.

In May [2010], 141 underage Michigan girls were forced into prostitution… And the victims, for the most part, aren’t smuggled in from foreign countries or even from other states. They are local girls, pimped by local pimps and bought by local men.

Then I saw the video below about two young girls from the Ukraine who were sold into slavery after being told that they were entering an exchange student program. Instead of participating in an educational exchange, they were forced to work 12-hour shifts at a strip club here in the Detroit area.

I mapped the distance from my house to the club and it was only 11 Miles.

Trafficking can be easy to ignore when it’s a thousand miles away or when girls are being bought and sold to men in foreign countries. It’s impossible to ignore when it’s only 11 miles away and girls are being bought and sold at your brother’s/coworker’s/neighbor’s bachelor party.

If you have seven minutes to spare, watch the video. I loved when Katya, the girl who was sold into slavery, says this about dancing in the strip club: “If I have a smile on my face, it doesn’t mean I’m here on my own will, it doesn’t mean that I appreciate this job and I want to be here, because I was kept.”

P.S. I’m facilitating a workshop at Idea Camp//Sex in Vegas. I would love to see you there. You can still register HERE.

Do you think we are generally unaware of the trafficking problem in the US? Do you know if trafficking is happening in your community? What can the church do about it?

Originally posted at nicolewick.com.

here comes the [mail order] bride trafficking

By Dan King

I know that this one won’t make me the most popular kid on the block. And I want to start by saying that not everyone who goes this route should be classified as having the same motives. However, the mail-order bride business is a big one where abuses can often be overlooked.

Typically, there are two types of opportunities for men who are looking overseas for wives:

(1) Contact information sales
Some agencies simply sell the contact information for women that men choose on a website. These agencies typically ‘encourage’ the men and women to correspond for a period of time before meeting each other in person as a means of determining compatibility. However, many of these agencies will write letters on behalf of the women.

(2) Group tours
Other agencies offer opportunities for men to travel to other countries and attend parties and social events designed for them to connect with the women.  Men can meet and spend time with hundreds of different women in order to choose someone that they would like to pursue a relationship with.

I recently saw an amazing documentary on Current TV about this issue called Bride Trafficking Unveiled. It attempts to answer the question, “are mail order brides simply trafficked women who are being exploited by legal loopholes?”

You can watch the full episode right here (clicking the image will take you to another site to view the video)…

Here’s the deal… Not all men who meet their wives this way are sleaze-bags. Not all women who find husbands this way are victims. But there seems to be very little international regulation on this sort of activity.

Yeah, I know that there’s some regulation in the United States to protect these women from being victims of violent crimes. But that doesn’t mean that many of these women aren’t being ‘legally’ trafficked into physically, sexually, and emotionally abusive relationships.

What do you think? Should the mail-order bride industry be labeled as a form of human trafficking? What about the good relationships that result from it? Are the women victims being bought and sold while being fed (often) false hopes and dreams? Who’s doing something about this? What can/should be done?

Originally posted at bibledude.net.

!C//SEX Orientation Week Wrap Up

By Dan King

Why did this week’s blogging series have to be one of the most awkward that I’ve ever been a part of?

Seriously… I was blown away by how much people opened up during weeks like PORN WEEK and ABUSE WEEK. But now it seems that we’re talking about homosexuality, I know that even the strongest participants in this project mentioned to me that it was a very tough one to write about. That tells me that this is probably one of the more important issues we need to be discussing in the church.

This week was ORIENTATION WEEK, the fourth of the six-week series of discussions on various sex-related topics.

While many people found it difficult at times to discuss this topic, there is one trend that I’ve noticed throughout most of the posts. And it’s a trend that I saw heterosexuals, homosexuals, and ‘recovering’ homosexuals all saying…

The best way to approach the discussion is with unconditional love. We must realize that Jesus died on the cross for ALL of us… even the people who live with same-sex attractions. We can never forget this point when approaching the discussion of homosexuality in the church.

Here’s a quick recap of the posts that we saw come in this week:

  • The Pickled yet Fathomable Truth of Orientation
    Evelyn Fazzio Chaisson talks from several different perspectives about the sin-nature of homosexuality and what real freedom looks like.
  • Why I Support Same Sex Marriage
    Jonathan Blundell deals with the issue of gay marriage and why he supports it. His perspective touches on legislating morality and how we can engage in this conversation.
  • how to cure homosexuality? [#ICSEX]
    Dan King (that’s me!) challenges Christians to rethink how we ‘deal with’ homosexuality in the church by being agents of God’s love, mercy, grace, and forgiveness.
  • Who Do You Love?
    David Goodwin opens up about his life-long same-sex struggles and how the church can be a part of the healing process for others like him.
  • Orientation Week – A Question of Identity
    Seiji Yamashita attempts to reconcile the problem with sexual sin and how the church should approach the issue. How can the church accept someone with sin in their life? Hmmm…
  • Sexual Orientation & the Church (An Interview with Andrew Marin)
    Charles Lee Skype-interviews Andrew Marin (author of Love is an Orientation and founder of The Marin Foundation) about how his views have changed and the research that he’s doing these days. Oh, and Andrew is one of our Camp Guides for the Vegas event!
  • Gay Christian?
    Jesse Giglio talks openly with a friend who is a Christian AND is openly gay. The discussion reveals some interesting insight into how to approach the conversation.

Other posts this week not focusing on orientation:

Let’s keep this conversation going… Which of these posts impacted you the most? Why? What other perspectives on gender do you think are important to share/consider?

Coming up next: Slavery – Week beginning Sunday, September 5th
This is the ‘social justice’ side of the sex discussion. Many are sold into sex slavery every day all around the world. But what can/should the church be doing about it? Do we have a responsibility to protect those who are affected by this? This conversation will focus on building awareness for this tragic issue, but also further practical solutions that people can take to bring an end to it. If you’re interested in participating in this conversation, then let us know in the comments or contact @bibledudeon Twitter.

Are you enjoying this conversation? Then consider coming to !C//SEX Las Vegas on 9.27.10. Register now!

Originally posted at bibledude.net.

Why I Support Same Sex Marriages

By admin

by Jonathan Blundell

Several years back, my sister Amy and I were driving somewhere and we ended up on the topic of politics.

I’m not sure how it happened but we began talking about abortion, stem cell research, same sex marriages and more. She never really voiced her opinions but asked a lot of questions about mine.

And at several points of the conversation, I think she was a little surprised by what I told her.

One in particular — same sex marriages.

I was thinking back on this conversation this week and wondering what I would tell her today.

Now more than ever, the same sex marriage debate has come to the forefront of our public debate.

And sadly, the same things that bothered me about the debate in 2004 still bother me today.

On one side, we have a vocal (religious) “right” who claim moral superiority and are fighting for the “sanctity of marriage.”

On the other side, we have progressives who claim political superiority and are fighting for “freedom and justice for all.”

As I told Amy that day, we can sit and debate the morality of same sex relationships all day. We can yell at each other, wave our signs and boycott companies who don’t agree with us and yet at the end of the day, very few (if any) of us will really reconsider our position.

The biggest hurdle I see is that my morality will never match your morality — and vice versa. I will always be convicted about things you’re not convicted about and you’ll always be convicted about things I’m not convicted about. My list of “righteousness” will seldom match your list (hence legalism in the Church).

However, as Americans, I firmly believe that the rights granted to one group of people should be granted to all people. If the government choses to recognize my marriage to the person I love — they should also recognize your marriage to the person you love — whether that be to someone of the same sex or the opposite sex.

Unfortunately, too many Americans have come to the belief that the government should legislate morality for all — and I hardily disagree with this idea.

First of all, I simply don’t believe it’s the role of the government — American or otherwise.
Second, cultural morality shifts from day to day. What’s deemed moral or immoral today may change next year.
Third, if I agree that the government is to legislate morality, what argument do I have when culture does shift and I’m in the minority and people are wanting to force their ideas of morality upon me.

Personally, I believe the role of the government is to protect it’s citizens from injustice and oppression — wherever that threat may come from.

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union,establish Justiceinsure domestic Tranquilityprovide for the common defensepromote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity…

This includes freedom of religion, freedom of speech and freedom to marry whomever you please.

That means we all need to recognize others are going to see the world differently that we do — and we should build spaces of grace around us instead of building walls of exclusion.

And because someone sees the world differently than us — we don’t have the right (or need) to constantly proclaim our opinions to the world — whatever they may be. Instead, we earn the right to be heard through loving others.

So, what about the morality aspect of it all?

Honestly, I’m still wrestling with the “moral/Biblical debate”

While I would have said same sex relationships were a flat out abomination years ago, my understanding of Scripture is that God is far more concerned about how we treat and love others than who we choose to love and marry.

We have been called as followers of Jesus to love unconditionally — regardless of all else. How can we really be “set apart” if we refuse to love those who see the world differently than us?

I also know there are a number of dear friends who have wrestled with their own sexuality and found peace in finding a loving God who accepts us just as we are — which is more than I can say about most of us.

And personally, I would much rather err on the side of recklessly over-loving than that of exclusion or under-loving someone. Or to adapt what the Dalai Lama has said, “My religion is very simple. My religion is love.”

Want more? Read my interview with Adele Sackler or listen to Thomas’ interview with her on our podcast (part 1part 2)

Originally posted at casadeblundell.com.