Archive for the ‘Sexual Orientation’ Category

!C//SEX Orientation Week Wrap Up

By Dan King

Why did this week’s blogging series have to be one of the most awkward that I’ve ever been a part of?

Seriously… I was blown away by how much people opened up during weeks like PORN WEEK and ABUSE WEEK. But now it seems that we’re talking about homosexuality, I know that even the strongest participants in this project mentioned to me that it was a very tough one to write about. That tells me that this is probably one of the more important issues we need to be discussing in the church.

This week was ORIENTATION WEEK, the fourth of the six-week series of discussions on various sex-related topics.

While many people found it difficult at times to discuss this topic, there is one trend that I’ve noticed throughout most of the posts. And it’s a trend that I saw heterosexuals, homosexuals, and ‘recovering’ homosexuals all saying…

The best way to approach the discussion is with unconditional love. We must realize that Jesus died on the cross for ALL of us… even the people who live with same-sex attractions. We can never forget this point when approaching the discussion of homosexuality in the church.

Here’s a quick recap of the posts that we saw come in this week:

  • The Pickled yet Fathomable Truth of Orientation
    Evelyn Fazzio Chaisson talks from several different perspectives about the sin-nature of homosexuality and what real freedom looks like.
  • Why I Support Same Sex Marriage
    Jonathan Blundell deals with the issue of gay marriage and why he supports it. His perspective touches on legislating morality and how we can engage in this conversation.
  • how to cure homosexuality? [#ICSEX]
    Dan King (that’s me!) challenges Christians to rethink how we ‘deal with’ homosexuality in the church by being agents of God’s love, mercy, grace, and forgiveness.
  • Who Do You Love?
    David Goodwin opens up about his life-long same-sex struggles and how the church can be a part of the healing process for others like him.
  • Orientation Week – A Question of Identity
    Seiji Yamashita attempts to reconcile the problem with sexual sin and how the church should approach the issue. How can the church accept someone with sin in their life? Hmmm…
  • Sexual Orientation & the Church (An Interview with Andrew Marin)
    Charles Lee Skype-interviews Andrew Marin (author of Love is an Orientation and founder of The Marin Foundation) about how his views have changed and the research that he’s doing these days. Oh, and Andrew is one of our Camp Guides for the Vegas event!
  • Gay Christian?
    Jesse Giglio talks openly with a friend who is a Christian AND is openly gay. The discussion reveals some interesting insight into how to approach the conversation.

Other posts this week not focusing on orientation:

Let’s keep this conversation going… Which of these posts impacted you the most? Why? What other perspectives on gender do you think are important to share/consider?

Coming up next: Slavery – Week beginning Sunday, September 5th
This is the ‘social justice’ side of the sex discussion. Many are sold into sex slavery every day all around the world. But what can/should the church be doing about it? Do we have a responsibility to protect those who are affected by this? This conversation will focus on building awareness for this tragic issue, but also further practical solutions that people can take to bring an end to it. If you’re interested in participating in this conversation, then let us know in the comments or contact @bibledudeon Twitter.

Are you enjoying this conversation? Then consider coming to !C//SEX Las Vegas on 9.27.10. Register now!

Originally posted at bibledude.net.

Why I Support Same Sex Marriages

By admin

by Jonathan Blundell

Several years back, my sister Amy and I were driving somewhere and we ended up on the topic of politics.

I’m not sure how it happened but we began talking about abortion, stem cell research, same sex marriages and more. She never really voiced her opinions but asked a lot of questions about mine.

And at several points of the conversation, I think she was a little surprised by what I told her.

One in particular — same sex marriages.

I was thinking back on this conversation this week and wondering what I would tell her today.

Now more than ever, the same sex marriage debate has come to the forefront of our public debate.

And sadly, the same things that bothered me about the debate in 2004 still bother me today.

On one side, we have a vocal (religious) “right” who claim moral superiority and are fighting for the “sanctity of marriage.”

On the other side, we have progressives who claim political superiority and are fighting for “freedom and justice for all.”

As I told Amy that day, we can sit and debate the morality of same sex relationships all day. We can yell at each other, wave our signs and boycott companies who don’t agree with us and yet at the end of the day, very few (if any) of us will really reconsider our position.

The biggest hurdle I see is that my morality will never match your morality — and vice versa. I will always be convicted about things you’re not convicted about and you’ll always be convicted about things I’m not convicted about. My list of “righteousness” will seldom match your list (hence legalism in the Church).

However, as Americans, I firmly believe that the rights granted to one group of people should be granted to all people. If the government choses to recognize my marriage to the person I love — they should also recognize your marriage to the person you love — whether that be to someone of the same sex or the opposite sex.

Unfortunately, too many Americans have come to the belief that the government should legislate morality for all — and I hardily disagree with this idea.

First of all, I simply don’t believe it’s the role of the government — American or otherwise.
Second, cultural morality shifts from day to day. What’s deemed moral or immoral today may change next year.
Third, if I agree that the government is to legislate morality, what argument do I have when culture does shift and I’m in the minority and people are wanting to force their ideas of morality upon me.

Personally, I believe the role of the government is to protect it’s citizens from injustice and oppression — wherever that threat may come from.

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union,establish Justiceinsure domestic Tranquilityprovide for the common defensepromote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity…

This includes freedom of religion, freedom of speech and freedom to marry whomever you please.

That means we all need to recognize others are going to see the world differently that we do — and we should build spaces of grace around us instead of building walls of exclusion.

And because someone sees the world differently than us — we don’t have the right (or need) to constantly proclaim our opinions to the world — whatever they may be. Instead, we earn the right to be heard through loving others.

So, what about the morality aspect of it all?

Honestly, I’m still wrestling with the “moral/Biblical debate”

While I would have said same sex relationships were a flat out abomination years ago, my understanding of Scripture is that God is far more concerned about how we treat and love others than who we choose to love and marry.

We have been called as followers of Jesus to love unconditionally — regardless of all else. How can we really be “set apart” if we refuse to love those who see the world differently than us?

I also know there are a number of dear friends who have wrestled with their own sexuality and found peace in finding a loving God who accepts us just as we are — which is more than I can say about most of us.

And personally, I would much rather err on the side of recklessly over-loving than that of exclusion or under-loving someone. Or to adapt what the Dalai Lama has said, “My religion is very simple. My religion is love.”

Want more? Read my interview with Adele Sackler or listen to Thomas’ interview with her on our podcast (part 1part 2)

Originally posted at casadeblundell.com.

How to Cure Homosexuality?

By Dan King

What I’m about to share is something that turns my stomach. I’m not writing today to debate what’s right or wrong about homosexuality. There are theologians who are way smarter than me that do a good enough job with keeping that discussion going.

I don’t want to talk about whether or not someone is ‘born that way’. There have been lots of studies that try to prove and disprove that point.

Right or wrong, avoidable or not, I want to talk about how the church addresses the issue of homosexuality.

I’ve recently read an article in a magazine that I usually don’t read. I got a subscription to Details by flippantly picking several magazines while spending some expiring airline miles. I decided that it wasn’t a magazine that I was very interested in after glancing at my first issue, so they normally find their way into the trash can directly from the mailbox.

But the June 2010 issue caught my eye with these words on the cover… Inside the World of Gay Exorcism. Inside, I found a disturbing article about how some churches deal with (what they consider to be) the root problem of homosexuality… demonic possession.

Is demonic possession the cause of homosexuality? I definitely believe that it’s possible, but not always the case. The New Testament also talks a great deal about our own ‘lustful desires’. I’ve known men before that I’ve felt could have some strong spiritual influence influencing their behavior, but I also know many that behave certain ways due to natural desires of the flesh.

And I don’t believe that you can exorcise natural, fleshly desires.

What bothers me most about the approach that many churches take towards this issue is that it brings on so much shame and condemnation. Often people are publicly shamed, judged, and made to feel like less of a person because they struggle with desires that make them different than most others.

How does that accomplish the mission of the church?

Aren’t we supposed to be messengers of God’s Grace? His Love? Forgiveness?

One thing that struck me as I read this article about ‘gay exorcism’ speaks to how those who struggle with these urges feel about how the church handles homosexuality…

I ask Kevin if he is now 100 percent sure that being gay is not a sin.

“Not 100 percent,” he says. “It’ll always be in the back of my mind. I guess it’s the way I was raised. You don’t know how many times I heard preached that homosexuality is a sin—you’re going to burn in hell for it. It’s funny how nobody at church wanted to sit down and explain why this was happening. They just want to get rid of it, basically.”

I wonder if nobody wanted to sit down and explain it because they simply never took the time to try to understand it. Many Christians may think that it’s easier to pray it away than it is to relate to someone and talk about their life and what drives them.

I don’t pretend to understand what same-sex attraction is like, or what someone who lives with it must deal with knowing that they live with something that could alienate them from so many people.

But I do know that as Christians we are called to love… not judge. Does living in homosexuality mean that God loves that individual any less? No, and neither should we.

I’m thankful that God loved me even when I didn’t deserve it. And I’ve got to believe that He loves everyone the same way.

I also know that gay and lesbian adults more actively seek out community than most straight people. That would indicate that there’s a strong desire to connect with (and likely be accepted by) people. Isn’t that what churches are for? Then why do we insist on pushing away the very people that need us the most?

As I write this, I almost want to apologize to gay and lesbian people everywhere on behalf of the church.

If you are gay/lesbian, I’m sorry if we’ve ever put any shame on you. That’s not God’s heart. You have immeasurable value to Him. You are the apple of His eye. God loves you, and so do I.

And c’mon church… how can we become the instruments of God’s Love that we’ve been called to be in this area?

Originally posted at bibledude.net.